why is it so hard for me to go to sleep on time and wake up at my usual 5:30 am time? I don’t know. Not enough motivation? Not enough rewards?
It’s not that simple.
But I need to change that. I need to stay disciplined.
TV is also taking my valuable time. I get lazy and I watch for 15 minutes. Sometimes longer.
I only get around and hour and a half if I wake up at 5:30. If I do it at 6:30, then I have half an hour or so. Not enough to do any reading. Not enough to do anything, really.
This has been going on for roughly a month now. My wife left and things have turned for the worse in this matter. It should have been the other way around, right? I think so.
But no reason to look back so much. Time to stay more disciplined.
I should create some sort of a reward system. If I wake up 5 times or more next week, I should buy myself a treat. If I don’t do it 3+ times, I should refrain from buying anything. Perhaps this reward/penalty system will work? I think I have to think about it a little bit more. I think it might!
Writing in this log entry is also an on/off experience. I have some tough questions to ask myself. I have to ask myself, why am I doing this? Why? Why? Why?
Because that’s who I am. That’s who I have been. And I want to continue doing that so I can move on.
And not only that, I enjoy doing that! When I don’t do it for a few day, or even for a single day, I feel bad! I should not let that happen. I can do better. And I will! Stas, show me what you can do! Ask not what others can do for me, ask yourself what you can do for yourself! Period.