I just hope things are stable here at NBC. I got a fairly large raise my current paycheck. I hope that I’m not going to become “too expensive.” That’s my concern. I hope not. Obviously they gave me the big raise because they want my contributions. But it remains to be seen what will happen. Only time will tell.
I still have work to finish here. I love working on the new project. It’s a Java Web Services project. I am able to learn new things. It’s a dynamic project. Of course there are risks. We are really starting from scratch. We don’t have much experience in this domain. So it’s going to be painful. But we will learn. One concern is that Ben is changing his ideas/views all the time. I would like it to be more stable. But it’s OK because I have a lot to say.
I gave an impromptu speech yesterday. I think I did well. It was fairly well received. I wasn’t nervous too much. I was just talking about something that is dear to me. I am sure that people know this already. But still. I stepped out of my comfort zone and I delivered. And that’s what matters. I am getting more comfortable speaking in a group. I do have to change my view and look around a bit more. I have to involve others when I speak. Need a bit more vocal variety.
But I am concerned about the club. I am concerned that we will not make it. We are too small. We will struggle to attract more people. I’m giving it 2 more months. If there is no improvement, I think I will give up. That’s about it. We were close to making it, but it just did not work out.
I am still hoping that it will. I really do. I like the club. I like the setup. But I don’t like failure. I like the club to move forward. I like quality. I don’t think we have all of that. And that hurts me.
