Author: SK

Lately, and in all of 2015, there has been a big flow of departures. Combining that with “not so good quarter,” creates a bit of a scary situation. Is it time to jump?

I think it’s too early to say. I’ve made a mistake like that before, thinking a company has no future. 

At the very least, I want to wait. I want to see what will happen in 2016. We have some decisions to make. We need to reorganize a few things. Some of the decisions will not be easy, but we have to do them.

Let’s watch and observe. Good or bad things might follow.

I have had a heated discussion in our retro meetings. I am not going to put up with things that are against me that I don’t agree with. I need to hold my ground.  I need to fight what I think is right.

To some extent.

I don’t want to constantly disagree. I don’t want to be raising my voice all the time. I need to find a way to invite the other party for a discussion.

Am I hurting myself when I raise my voice. Perhaps. But a culture is at stake and if I go without giving my best, then I can be upset. If I go down after giving my best, then at least I can go with a good feeling.

I need to be more disciplined in staying focused on a single task, not diving into more and more tasks. It then becomes overwhelming and I lose track/focus. My delivery suffers. I don’t want that. I want to be able to focus, take a step forward, then move to something else.

Also, what am I learning? What do I want to learn more about? I think Big Data is one subject that I want to improve on. It allows me to research more about different architecture styles and techniques. I am reading it now and I like it, much better than the Hadoop guide book. 

After I do something, I question myself. Especially if there is no response from the other side. But why? Why do that? If what I did comes from my heart and I tried to be since and I tried my best, then I can’t question myself. That’s the bottom line!

I apologized in the email to Francis yesterday. But I did not get any response. All day, I kept checking my email. I need to stop that.

On the subject of email, I’m back to checking it very often. On my browser. That makes it too easy. Again, unless there is something really important, for which I can setup reminders, I want to check my email on the phone and only every hour or so. I need to stay more disciplined and focus on work. 

1. I am an early riser by the end of oct
   a. I head straight down
2. I have a great attitude
3. I am knowledgeable with big data by the end of nov
4. I am eager to learn

I had a soccer lesson yesterday. I get involved during games. I try to position boys, I try to pressure them to do better. I’ve developed a style in the past year or so. Now, that is out of the window, for the most part. At halftime yesterday, Francis came over and told a few of us parents that it is driving him crazy and that we need to stop. So I did that and a game almost lost half of the interest. Oh, well, I will need to adjust and find a right balance.

This is a 2nd time this season, so it’s def an indication that I am stepping over the line. 

Fabian had a tough week, but a good one. He’s played at different positions which is very encouraging. He can play defense, but he can also play midfield and even attack. Those will add to his soccer iq. He’s pushed a lot harder during the glen rock game. He’s made a lot of mistakes during the heat game. Lot needs to be improved at that level.

During the game, I noticed a lot of frustration in Fabian. Don’t know if it is play or tiredness related. I hope it’s the latter but I will monitor.

Having bad players on the team is… not a good way for other players to get stronger. I will have to decide whether to continue in the spring or next fall, or whether to just stick to a single club. I’m leaning towards a single club. I think if I did everything there, Fabian would improve more. But we would need at least 8 games. 6 games is probably not enough.

In any case, a decision I will have to make over the summer.

For the past week, we’ve been training shots. Fabian tells me that he “got it” and that shots are now easy to make for him. I will want to see that during the game. Practicing shots and juggling is something that he has to do on a continuous basis. But it is great to see that he’s learned something in the past week. 

Day before yesterday, at a practice at FDU, he told me that they won the mini championship. That’s great! He’s giving a lot of what he has lately. I haven’t been pushing him that much so it’s coming out of him. And I love seeing that.

Things at work are difficult and challenging. That’s good and bad. Good, because I’m challenged. Bad, because I feel I don’t have a good handle on it. Oh, well. Things move on. I feel like I have a good team, team that wants to deliver, team that wants to hassle. That’s a good thing. And I believe I’m helping in that regard. I think that’s great.

I am observing some negative issues with me. This happens after work. I come home, have dinner, and then spend time with tv or my kids. Lately, it’s been a mix and not a lot of tv. But then when I ask kids to do something and they don’t do it I get really upset. I yell at them. That happened twice yesterday. Both my kids and my wife don’t like it. I don’t like it either. It’s time to change the behavior.

I am noticing that my kids speak polish less and less during the year. I am thinking of instituting a “polish hour” from 8 to 9. In that hour, we speak polish and only polish. I should try that. In that time, we only read polish books. maybe 7:45 to 8:30 will be enough, or even 8 to 8:30. In any case, I will try that!

Soccer is my passion. It looks like it’s my son’s passion as well.. I am investing a lot in it. I think it will help him a lot. It will help him in the future, knowing he can play. It will help him in knowing he made some good friends. It will help him knowing he improved a lot in just 2 years!

What an improvement he’s making. He is getting better at shooting. His shots are strong. He is starting to raise the ball. Yes, just starting. We’ve been practicing that over the weekend. I think he finally “got” it, if not how to shoot then that he has to improve. He is dribbling better. Maybe not great yet, but better. And I think his positioning better as well. Still has to push up more, still has to jockey more. But all of it he’s doing better. 

So there are still lots of things he needs to improve. Going to practice, participating fully will allow him to do that.

I feel relieved. We went for a treadmill test with Fabian to see the effect of exercise on his heart. Everything seems to be fine. The doctor said nothing is wrong, and his heart is responding the way it should to the exercises.

That cleared one thing, but not all. It doesn’t fully answer the question, especially for Fabian, how to respond when he gets those pains. He will need to find a way to deal with that. Little bit of a pain is nothing wrong. He will need to deal with that. Perhaps do a bit less running, or try to constantly move so his rhythm is always up. Not sure. We will need to monitor this.

So at this point, Fabian is cleared to play for this season. That is big. That was worrying me. I did not know how to push him. It’s good to have that behind us. Next month, we will get more confirmation and I hope we get another reassurance.  

Fabian’s skills are picking up. He is able to dribble a lot better. He is looking to pass and his passes are good. I am already seeing an improvement, with only 3 weeks of practice on the new team That is very exciting to see. More than half of the season is left, and more than a month of practice. With hard work, he can make some more improvement.