Author: SK

My desire for my wife has increased a lot lately. That’s a good thing. Well, I guess. It might not, as a lot of times I’m stuck… But overall it’s a good thing.

I am a different person. I will stay that way from now on. I am fully dedicating myself to my wife. And I will show it. I will keep showing it by doing little things here and there. Those things matter. They make a big difference. They create an environment where we support each other.

It’s been a long time coming. I will be tested. But I’ve started to look at girls differently. That’s a very nice, positive change. I hope it sticks. Because I have a lady. I have somebody supporting me. And that’s what counts. That’s they woman that counts in my life.

It might seem by this writing that I did something wrong. No. It’s a reflection I made and a few mistakes I made. Nothing big. But it made my wife feel bad. And it also made me feel bad. Why do I need to do that?

I don’t.

Life is short. Ewa is a prime example of that. She lived only about 60 years. And then, all of a sudden, her health got worse. She got cancer. And the cancer just just ate her. Any lessons from that? Try to live to the fullest. Be a good person. Good deeds don’t go unnoticed. 

I can’t sleep, I’m up all night… Well, for most of the night. Insomnia or acid in my stomach? Probably both. Hopefully this will not repeat too much.

Victor had a bad day yesterday. I talked to him. I listened to him by asking questions. He responded fine, he acknowledged that he can improve. He said tomorrow he will be better. I will talk to him today. He’s a good, smart boy. But he is easily influenced. That’s why it’s important that I talk to him and Fabian as well.

Yes, the weekly sprints are creating a lot of pressure. Especially in adserv. Any sizeable change requires a lot of testing. Testing that slows things down… by not allowing me to go. But I have to keep trying. I have to keep hustling. It’s with effort that things will improve. Sometimes a task that seems “unsolvable” is solved with sweat and effort.

Little things matter a lot. Having respect for my wife. Showing that I love her. Even if those things are tiny, here and there adds up. It makes a difference.

I will continue doing that. I will try to find ways to do more of it. It’s what makes marriage fun. It’s what brings us together.

Fabian has had a very good soccer season so far. He’s been classified as a defender and been doing a great job so far. His speed has been discovered. His ball handling skills are improving. This is all very good.

And talk about these games. They are great to watch. So much excitement from these little kids.

I support my guys. I trust in their decision making. So if they tell me that they want to do something else, it’s really their choice. If they want to leave, it’s their choice.

So yesterday Justin told me he wants to be considered for the new DS position. I have not heard about it, or not a lot. But I told him that I will support him. It will be a loss, but any loss could be somebody’s gain. So I am for it.

One thing I learned is that I have to listen. I was born with 2 ears and 1 mouth. So when somebody has something to say, a concern, I need to listen. When people feel that they are heard, they feel appreciated. I need to do that for my wife as well. And kids. And everybody I know.

I still love development. I got a good coding day yesterday. It feels good. Feels really good. Whenever I have a pure day of coding that includes design, testing, it feels good.

I prefer TDD for new development. It’s such a nice way of getting things done quickly. And the quality is there as well. It’s my preferred way of working. Love it.

So today I have an opportunity to finish what I started yesterday. 

I am a different man, with different priorities. It’s a challenge sometimes. Sometimes my willingness is tested. But there is no going back. I made a promise to myself, to my wife that the old me is gone. 

Yesterday we had a get together. And I held my ground. I am a man. Sometimes I think differently. But I act differently now. And I like that.

One week sprints are stressful. A lot more stressful than 2 weeks. It seems like we’re running all the time. I learned that we are now under a lot more pressure to deliver. We are doing throway prototypes. Or the stuff we’re delivering is very small, so it’s 

So it’s time to switch to a more effective process.

I fell in love with Kanban. I want to present a proposal and a discussion about A1 and where we’re moving.

In a way, it’s going to be very similar to scrum. It’s going to be a version of scrumban.

Am I ready to love my wife? Am I ready to love anybody? 

Commitment is had. Without commitment, there is no love. It’s as simple as that. 

Ever since my wife and I had the argument, I started looking at women differently. I did not stop, just looking differently. I think that’s a very positive sign. I need to continue to do that. 

I am committed to my wife and kids. Let’s leave it there.