My Learning Log

Author: SK

  • chicken and egg

    I hate to be slacking. I don’t like it when what I do does not produce results. It sucks. It drains me. I lose a lot of my positive energy.

    I need to handle that better.

    There are times when I’m going to fail. There are times when I am going to make a mistake. It will happen. But if I’m doing the best that I can, is there anything else I can do? At times, I really need to step outside. Relax. Talk to somebody else. I really get ideas into my head when I do that.

    But it’s hard. I know. I still don’t know how to handle that. But only when I learn how to deal with that effectively I can become a more plorific worker. So this is almost like a chicken and egg problem. I need to realize that as well.

  • giving 100%

    I should congratulate myself. I have been doing a very good job at staying focused on the task at hand. It’s been working. I hope it’s being noticed as well. At this point of in the game, all I can ask myself is to give 100%. Everything will take care of itself. And I have been doing that. And I should thank myself for this shift.

    Is that going to be enough? Who knows. We’ll see.

  • getting better

    I have to keep fighting. I have to keep getting better. That is the only way I know to get a better job. That is the only way I know to get a higher paying job. And that’s the only way I know I can distinguish myself from others. It’s not easy, but who said it is. And no, I’m not trying to find a different job.

  • doing the best

    I get a kick from a new project every time. A little pressure. A new problem to solve. These things really is like a great motivational factor for me. I love it!

    I got a new project at work today. It’s cool. It seems to me like I’m getting even the complex projects. That’s really cool. It’s a good sign. It means that my focus on quality, my focus on doing a great job is paying off. People are noticing.

    In the domain of advertising, I’m still not where I’d like to be. I still don’t know a lot of the terminology. I really ought to deepen my knowledge in that regard.

    I also have to improve in TDD. I need to challenge some guys over here. I see an opening for me here. Some guys are better than me in some ways. I think I can be better in other ways. This will allow me to establish myself. 

    I really want to do the best job that I can here. I want to be considered a top performer. I think by doing the best that I have, everyday, I can do that.

    But it’s not easy.

    I have a new DROID with a big 4.3 screen and that helps. I don’t have to check email at my machine’s browser. I can focus on work. I can eat, drink and breathe code. Yes, I can breathe some fresh air.

    I still get “oh my got I love it here” feeling here. It just means that I made the right decision to come here!

  • victor

    My son Victor is really a smart boy. I think he’s going to develop into a smart, controlled boy. He’s a bit different from Fabian. He can concentrate when I’m reading a book to him. He can play by himself for quite some time. And he eats well. He reminds me a bit of me, but then again, I only know myself from what others told me.

    Victor is 9 months now. He’s what I learned recently, sofa cruising. 🙂 And he has a very good technique when crawling. He is going to more and more places. He also develops “his” favorite places and things to do.

    One of the things he loves is to chew. Especially, pretzels. He loves taking out things out of a drawer in the bathroom. A great boy he’s turning out to be. Let’s hope! 🙂

    I’m lucky to have 2 great boys.

  • be myself

    Do I have a memory issue? I don’t know. I might have. I can’t remember anything. I easily forget things. When I am speaking, I have trouble remembering.

    I am pretty sure I have an issue with memory. But is there anything I can do about it? I don’t know. I’m not quite sure. Even if I do, is there anything I can do about it? Not that I know. I don’t know anything about it.

    I am one lonely guy. Sometimes I feel like I don’t belong in this world. I don’t feel “social.” But that’s just me. I am who I am. I don’t have to be popular. I don’t have to belong. I can be weird. I want to be weird if that’s who I am. I should not be afraid of doing that. 

    I am proud to be myself. I am proud to be who I am. If that means that I’m weird, then so be it. I should not be somebody that I am not. That’s when I feel disappointed. That’s when i feel that I don’t belong. I don’t want to do that. Why do I want to be something less than I am. No, I don’t want to do that. I will not do that.

  • expectations

    I completed a major task today. Feels good. I feel like a did very good job. I feel like I did the best that I can. But of course, we’ll see a “real” test after these changes get released.

    I cannot say how much the goal setting is helping me. It’s really a great motivational tool. I really think this is making me work much harder. It’s making me think about what to do next. And it’s making me into what I really want to be and the way I want to work. That’s a very big accomplishment.

    I don’t have any social skills. Yes, i think I’m a nice person. I’m kind. But there is no initiative on my part. Whatsoever. I am more concerned about using my time to the best of “my” use.

    Is that really bad? It would be if I was looking for a wife. But of course, I could do better. I could be more “social.” And that would actually help me as well.

    In either case, I am happy with my progress. I am happy with the way things are working out. What else can I expect?

  • diet and excercise

    I am trying to lose weight. But I don’t know how. I am eating very little throughout the day. That only helps a little. When I come home, I feel really hungry. So most of the time, I over eat. And then I feel bad in the last hour or two at work. 

    But am I giving up on doing it this way? No, not yet. I have noticed some improvement. But it’s not satisfactory… I need something else.

    I think I have to excercise a bit more. I will try to it a few times at night and perhaps a bit more on a weekend.  I have the equipment installed at home. It’s just that it’s not easy to do.

    If more exercising at home does not work, I might have to change to do exercising outside, which I don’t really want to do as it will take more time. 

    Eating right during the day. Not overeating at night. And then exercising both at night and in the morning. I think that sounds like a plan!

  • few things

    Again, great to see things work. I am realizing that this is a high-pressure place. Things are expected to be completed quickly. And if not quickly, then at least with not bugs. If none of these conditions are satisfied, then it’s probably not going to work out… I get it.

    And I love it!

    Yes, I have to work hard. Yes, i have to work like a horse. But so what. isn’t that what I want anyway? Yes, I do.

    I want a place where things are expected. I want to be in a place where “you gotta get stuff done.” Who wouldn’t love that? Exactly. 

    NEW PHONE

    I got a new phone yesterday. They had a sale at costco for $150. Very nice deal for a great phone: Droid X. I love this power machine. It’s super fast. It gets great results. But why did I get it? I need a smartphone. Period.

    MY WIFE

    She gets upset when I do something that she does not like. She “loses” it a lot of times. I am not sure what I can do differently. Things are not always going to be perfect. Things are going to get “screwed up.” It’s part of life. I really have to talk it out with her. I need to offer her my help or something.

    VICTOR

    He’s an amazing boy. He almost never cries. Well, he does cry when he wants something. But that’s about it. It’s so fun to be with him. I do need to make sure that I stimulate him. And his brother. When I’m with him, it should be him. But of course, I can only do so much. 

  • working hard

    I’ve been working really hard since I joined m6d. I think the effort is already pay off. On my performance review with Brian, he told me that he sees good effort and that I produce quality results. 

    That’s a great start. 

    But that’s not where I want to be.

    I know that I don’t know a lot. I have to learn quite a few things. I forget things very easily. I don’t know if it’s just my memore or what.

    But I do think that I write quality code.

    Sometimes I think that I am a robot. I just work, work , work, and work. It’s partly true. But that’s my goal here. I want to give 100% to work. I want to see how much I can give. And then I will know if it’s enough. If not, then what? 

    I believe in my abilities. I know that if I give 100% I will be successful. No matter where I work. it’s challenging here. I’m still not sure how things work. There is so much that I have to learn. I will.