Category: Uncategorized

We released a new and improved newsletter. But guess what, we have been hearing a lot of bad press. 🙁 People got used to the old newsletter, with the way it was being displayed and also with the information it contained. Now, some users are pissed and unsubscribing. Hmm… It makes me think. Did anybody really think about this newsletter? What’s better in this new version as compared to the old, reliable one? Not sure, but probably not. Most likely the thinking went: let’s get off IB and we’ll be fine. I don’t think it always works this way. But some people don’t get it. They just want a working product, no matter whether it is better or worse. Too bad, because some people might be suffering.
There are issues with technology in general. A lot of people don’t understand it. Too bad, but that’s how it is.

I am a shy guy. I know that. I think I also have a problem concentrating when I speak. I seem to lose my train of thought. I don’t like that. But I think I have made vast improvement already. Toastmasters has helped me a great deal. I remember that I have had this issue since I was small. It’s not easy to change this. I have to encourage myself and just keep working at it. It’s not going to be easy and it’s not easy, but I have to force myself to talk more often. I have to force myself into talking even when the environement is new and I might make a mistake. I am not going to learn if I don’t do that.

I really love my son. When I went to the bathroom, I started thinking about his face expressions. How he smiles. Oh, he’s a lot of joy. Unbelievable, actually. He is not an easy boy, but I love him the way he is. I think he’s a smart boy. Plus, he’s agressive. He learns quickly and I think, just think, that he’s ahead of his schedule. He is not a great eater, but he eats. Lately, I think he eats more and more. And it shows. He’s a bit chubby. Well, maybe not chubby but nicely built. He is saying some words really clearly.

We went to a Christening party yesterday. My wife was a godmother. It was a pretty good party. Though now that I think about it, it was sort of boring. Not much going on. I did not really have anyone to talk to. Except, pastor Marek. 🙂 It was interesting talking to him, actually. He seems like a knowledgeable guy on technology. We talked a little about what I do. He had some specific questions about what I do. He digged fairly deep. He also mentioned HTML, it means he actually knows a lot if he does that! Very interesting. But after he left, it was mostly my wife and I. I did not have anyone else to talk to. Is this my fault? Probably. But after Fabian went to sleep, we did get to dance alone on the stage! I noticed that I am no longer scared to do that. I actually quite enjoy my own time on the open floor. Pretty cool actually just to have my own space!

I am enjoying my job here at NBCU. The one thing that impresses me the most is that we belong to GE. GE is a great company, with great leadership. I read the annual report today and I think the company is moving in a right direction. The company is greatly diversified. It has a lot of growth ahead of it.
What do I get? Decent benefits. If I can stay here for 5 years, I am also going to get a pension! That is probably why people stay a long time here. I can imagine myself staying for 5 years or so. Probably not in the same position, but I would like to stay for that period of time.
Let’s see, if I stay for 5 years, I will be 35, and it will be 2013. I could then stay for 2 years, and after that, potentially move to a GE affiliate in Poland or elsewhere in Europe. This sounds pretty good and complelling. Would I be able to retire in 2015?
Let’s calculare. If I can save 30% of my earnings, roughly 30K per year, that would equal around 200K in 2015. Is that enough? Probably not. That’s why I would probably need to work for additional 5 or so years.
I could do that in Europe. But do I want to retire that early? That’s another good question. In theory, yes, but what would I be doing? I have to really think about this.

I sometimes feel that I’m shy. I am afraid to raise my voice. I am afraid to look stupid.
There are a couple of things in regards to this. At times, I am not sure what to say. I am having hard time thinking on my feet. It does not come easy to me. But I am trying myself to get better in this area in Toastmasters. Plus, I’m writing this journal and that helps me as well.
Two. When I speak in front of a group, I seem to get excitted too much! I talk very fast and don’t maintain proper eye contact. I noticed that yesterday during Emilka’s B-party. I was talking about something I know, but I really speeded up. I think it creates unnecessary pressure on the others. What I want to do is to talk freely. I want to expand on the subject. I know a lot from reading. I need to be able to tell that to others in a convincing way. I still have a lot of learning to do in this area. But I think I can do it. I am improving!

What do I want to do in 5, or 10 years? Where do I want to be? In 10 years, I am pretty sure that I want to be in Poland. I want to settle in Krakow and have a vacation house in my home village of Kacwin. But what do I want to do when I get to Poland? One possiblity is to start my own software/consulting company. I have a few ideas that I want to do. One of them is creating a store from Amazon, or even selling the stuff myself. I know that Polish infrastructure is not really that good, so I have a chance. But I think I’m more interested in starting a consulting company. I would gear towards companies in the USA. From time to time, I would visit the company on site, and have all of my guys do that from time to time. But sometimes I am wondering if I’m smart enough for that. At times I really feel like I’m not the smartest guy to be doing what I do. But that’s not always the case. This really happened when I was at Markit. The job there was just way overwhelming. I am still trying to recover from that. I am still trying to regain my confidence. I know that I can do a lot of complex stuff. I can do most of the software development. I just have to better my communication skills. I have to be more at ease when I talk. It’s not easy, because I have had this issue when I was small. I am just a different person. I think differently. I communicate differently. Sometimes I think I’m a machine. But I need to talk more to other people, I need to open up to others. I just need to relax more.

One thing I can do more easily here at NBC is study and learn. I can do it more freely than I was able to at Markit. But this is important for me. I was not happy about this at Markit.
But why do I want to do this? I want to do this so I can become a better developer. I want to do this because I like to learn! I need to flexibility to create new applications. I want to play around with new technologies. If I am not able to, then I eventually will look for a new place.
My blog needs to get more active, that’s for sure. I need to start writing on at least weekly basis. I am learning about new stuff constantly. I will want to write about what I learn! Learning about PHP? Write about it! If I learn a new design patter, write about it! I really shine if I keep my writing active. I got stale. I am trying to find my identity. But I should not care what I write about. I think like a craftsman, I think and I hope. 🙂 I should write about anything that comes to my mind. But more important than just thinking about it, I should just write!!!

It’s hot here! I hope they turn on air conditioning soon! Or else we’re going to sweat! It’s only around 50 outside, but we’re facing the sunny side in our room so it gets really hot and sunny in this room! Hopefully things improve or when we move, things might be better!
I had a very good night with my wife yesterday. I bought her a salad at Houlihans. Then we talked a bit, watched some TV. She enjoys that. She wants me to care about her. She wants me to spend time with her. Talk to her. Then she thinks that she’s appreciated. She told me that she’s so lucky to have me. That’s great to hear.
I have to tell her that even though I would like her to be more proactive about her career, I really think that she’s doing a great job with my son. She really takes great care of him. I can’t image someone else doing a better job.

I am now into my 4th week here at NBC! Wow, time really flies. I like my paycheck. I wished it was twice a month, but I can’t complaign since I get an extra pay twice a year. The commute is pretty good. I like the walk and the train ride. I especially like the PATH ride, as I get to see different people every day. It’s really amazing.
But as usual, I have to worry about my career and plans for the future. I have to strengthen my communication skills. I have to be more of a free talker. I need to be able to spend some time every day and talk to some people. I need to interact and develop relationships. I think this is a great place for that. It’s more relaxed and people here are very good communicators. I shall benefit from that.
Another things that I should do here, is my personal development. I should spend time every day and try to improve my development skills. I need to learn AJAX, PHP, Python, and CSS. These are more web technologies, but I like that. It’s easier development. And faster.
I think that if everything works out, or if there are not going to be major changes, this should be a fairly enjoyable place to work!