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I keep making these silly mistakes! I come from work and rather than spend time with kids I go on my computer! That can’t happen. I can’t do that. My wife got really upset and I don’t blame her. But I feel the same when I come home and she watches tv, sometimes. So we exchanged arguments for both of us to stop. Hopefully it works.

What do I need to do more effectively so that they do their homework, play instrument, go play soccer?

Tough choices. I don’t know. But I do know that not expecting a lot is a recipe for a disaster!

There are some things I can put up with and some that I can’t. I can’t put up with me being called names. I will not get upset, but will repeat it several times to confirm, to make it heard. That’s what hurts the most and maybe will make her realize how and what damage she’s doing.

I know who I am. Sometimes I wonder, will I last. Will somebody else last with me? But I’m listening, I’m trying to change. And for the things to get better, both need to want to change. I sense a very low success rate. I don’t know if it’s happening. I don’t know if she tries. And certainly, not very high success rate. 

I am better at writing goals. It helps me stay motivated throughout the day. But I’m not doing so great in thinking, reflecting, writing… I am a bit rushed in the morning, reading and wasting precious minutes, not allowing me to spend 5 minutes or so on writing. I’ve got to do a better job here. I have to find a solution. One solution would be to shift the writing at night, after writing my goals. I think that’s a possibility if this does not improve.

I also want to start out writing out goals for the weekend. I have been too much “not doing anything” kind and actually watching and no active work. I have to change that. Plenty of active things to do… like ice skating, like climbing, or playing bowling. There are things to do and knowing me, I have to have it planned ahead or it will not happen. Thus, I should ask kids on saturday what they want, and then decide.

I almost missed church yesterday because I was lazy. It happens. But my wife got really upset and kept talking and talking… is that respectful? I don’t think so. But I can also show respect and show that I can do the things she wants us to do. That’s fair, right?

When I have an assignment, when I have something due, I procrastinate. I delay it. That’s something I need to change. I should just get it out of the way and proceed. But no, I delay, waste time. 

How do I combat that behavior? 2 ideas. I need a better laptop to carry with me to work. The one I have is crap. Not bad but I think I need something better. The 2nd thing is to actually put that task as part of my daily goal. That should get me motivated more.

I did well this weekend. I tried spending time with my kids and family. We did some work outside the house on Saturday, then went to the movies. That was fun! Then yesterday, we played soccer, went to a park, library and a restaurant, before going to my parents and sister. So relatively easy weekend but lots of stuff to do. Can’t really ask for more. Especially since this is a weekend after my kids got sick, so Fabian had lower energy than usual.

It’s nice to think ahead. It’s nice to have a plan of action before. Thus is the thinking for 2/13 – 2/19. I should be able to find something reasonable so we can go somewhere and enjoy our time.

I am finding it hard to talk to my kids and my wife, but I’m trying. I need to get creative. I need to interest them with something that I like doing and teach them how to do it. With time, they should also like doing it. But they like playing with each other and I’m fine with that. As long as we’re spending time together and I’m doing best I can, I’m OK with it. So even if I’m reading a book on a side, I’m showing them a good example. Ideally I’d play with them but a lot of times I’m just tired. Same goes for my wife. I don’t want to get upset, scream, yell, etc

I am a loner. I know that. I have always been. Ever since I was a little boy, I felt a little left out. I felt weird in situations where a lot of people are. I don’t have good memory and I am shy. So in a group situation, where I need to think from memory, I lose focus.

But I have come a long way. I am no longer shy. At least I force myself not to act shy. I do things in spite of being shy. I don’t want my life to whizz by so I challenge myself outside of the comfort zone.

But I owe it to my kids and to my wife. I owe it to them to spend time with them, to teach them what I’ve learned. I need to do it to the best of my abilities. Whether it works or not, that’s another aspect.

I also learned a few things about coaching. Guided approach which involves questioning a player is way more involved, but it’s more effective in the long run as it creates a more creative, a more thinking player. I realized that after the game on Sunday. I have such an opportunity when they get on the field and when they come off the field. I have 1-1 opportunity. I also need to prepare what I have to say before and after the game, with a bit of guided approach. I should listen but also deliver my message.

I heard meany times about vision statement and important it is. It is, but nobody really does it well. Is a vision statement necessary for a team? I think it can be helpful. We are limited in scope, but we can have a shared vision, shared set of principles. We can do that. And with a vision statement that everybody buys into, we can all pull in one direction.

What is a vision statement and how do I create one?

There are 3 components in creating a vision statement, I learned yesterday. It should answer 3 questions. Why do we exist? Why do we do what we do?  What does success look like? What must we do to ensure success?

Running in the morning, before work, is a godsend. It allows me to lose weight, stay fresh, and feel healthier. All win-win. I also recently read that it’s recommended to have 60 to a 100 minutes of intense exercise every week. That counts towards that. I am amazed how much better I’m feeling. I need to continue doing that.

Today I woke up and I see 12 degrees. Whoa, that’s cold. That’s about -15 C. Do I go or not? I did. Felt cold, but now I feel good. If I can make it at 12, I believe I can make it under any conditions. Guess I would have to re evaluate if it goes down below 10, but anything other than that I think I’m good.

I also discovered another specialization that I might be interested. It’s called Leading People and Teams. I think this is exactly what I’m looking for. I will sign up and check it out. If I like it more than Coaching Skills for Managers, I’ll cancel the other one.