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Am I leading properly? Am I doing all I can?

I am trying. I’ve been reading and trying to improve my knowledge as well. So for the most part, I think I am doing all I can.

I have been getting very positive feedback. That means the things I am doing are working. I should keep doing them.

One thing I can do better is to improve my knowledge about our surroundings. About the prospect engine. About cassandra and hive. About here once consumers. I always have to keep digging. Any time I work on a particular piece, I should do a write up, I should expand my knowledge. But I should do it in a way that I can understand it and tell others about it. That is challenging, but doable.

I need to do that.

My son Fabian has a hard character. I have a hard time trying to motivate him to work hard. He comes up with all sorts of excuses. He is fairly strong in math. He gets things after I explain it to him. Then he feels motivated. It’s an ongoing struggle but it’s a struggle worth fighting for as it will help him in the tuture.

Few days later…

He also has seasonal allergy like me. It’s hard to see him in a state like that. But what can I do? I can’t really do anything and most likely he’s going to have to suffer like daddy. Too bad. 🙁

Victor fell in love with one of the books. He wants me to read 3 stories every night. He loves them. I love reading it to him. I knew I had to instill that love for reading at some point. He’s been reading “on his own” for now, but now he’s asking me to read it. Freddy’s Birthday is his favorite. He wants me to read it every night for a week or so now.

My sons respond when they’re asked to try their best. Especially Victor. He’s at that age where he’s open to different dangers, I would say. He sees both bad and good behaviour. So we have to be strict with them. Let them know what’s good and bad. And whether that works or not, it’s hard to say. But at least we’re trying our best. That’s all we really can do.

My other son is also volnerable. He needs to be motivated to do things. So we have to challenge him and ask him to do things he might consider boring. Tv is not boring to him. But it’s a big danger. It’s a time waster. With him, we also have to try our best. We have to challange him, motivate him to work hard, and watch him.

We had our reciting competition yesterday. In Polish. Fabian was reciting Lokomotywa by Julian Tuwim. Very nice poem. Marta trained him. She did it well. She put a lot of effort in it. And it showed.

The competition was big. 29 kids. No small feat. Fabian was a little nervous, but he tried his best. I loved watching him. He was looking around. Eye contact was great. Because of his nervousness, I think he under performed a little. His vocal variety wasn’t there completely. And 2nd part was a bit weak. 

So he did not win any prizes. It was sad to see him up there, epecting something. But I think it was a good experience. I am proud of him. He accomplished his goal and got the job done. What else can we expect?

Having a constant motivation to improve is my stamp. It’s what I believe makes me different. I am a hard worker. I try to collect at least one pomo in the morning before I leave home, and then one pomo on a train. When possible, I try to collect one more at work. That’s over an hour of learning. It adds up.

But I have to keep doing it. If anything, I need to strenghten it. I need to utilize the time most efficiently. 

I know how I learn. I need to practice, get comfortable with the technology, get closer to it. Only then I am able to remember it and master it.

So learning, focusing on getting better, practicing. That is my stamp. 

One can ask, am I selfish? Perhaps. But I also know that I need to do what makes me tick. That is what makes me special. That’s what makes me different.

There are days when I feel miserable. Those days make me feel like I don’t belong to this world. Those days make me feel awful.

Was it that bad yesterday? I don’t think so. But it wasn’t my most upbeat day.

The way I look has something to do with it. When I don’t feel that I look good, I get into this “down” mood. That brings my mood down.

But I think there was something else. I had my early signs of allergy yesterday. My eyes were watery and itchy. That had a real negative impact on my mood. And I think that’s the #1 reason why I felt that way.

I learned one thing: you can’t install tires that were bought outside of costco. I waited for 20 minutes or so in line to find out that. That hurts. But that’s what it is.

I had a great time with my son at b&n. He likes reading game cartoon magazines. He enjoys being there. I enjoyed being there with him as well. So it’s a win win for both of us. I shall repeat that more often with him.

We had another great sprint. Great, even though we did not complete a story. A story that was supposed to take a day. Really. A story that encountered a few unexpected surprises. 

I don’t want to work like that. But sometimes it happens and we need to have good ways for dealing with it. Did we do that? I think so. One thing I think we should do better, is that to put down assumptions. Assumptions that can be reviewed at the demo. We should do that.

My sons are good boys. I am teaching them to try their best. And I think they do try. Not always. Not consistently. But they do try and that makes me proud.

It’s important for me that I set the expectations and they know what we expect from them. That’s the most important thing. With that, what they do is up to them.

Love of books. I am always trying to make sure that they are into books. We’re reading to them. We’re lending books. We’re putting pressure on books. My sons acquiring the love of books is also critical for us.

Reading is one thing. Putting that knowledge to practice is another. There is more to come. More learning to follow. But that first step to read is critical.