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Taking it easy, taking it slow. At work and at home.

At work, things are moving slow. There is something missing. It could be this project we’re working on. Could be. It could be that we are side tracked by all of the external third parties. Could be. Or it could be that I am getting tired, not being motivated. Can’t say for sure just yet. Don’t want to say that yet. But I want to take it slow. I want to try to change things before making a move. It’s still the best place to work.

At home, we are making some slow changes .We are adjusting to each other. I am learning respect. It will take time. Habits are hard to change. But it will be a good result. It will help.

Both of these are big changes. They can change my life. Changes at home will have a positive impact on me handling and helping my family. And that’s a great thing I can do.

We’ve got a lot of learning to to. Between my wife an I. 

I will do 2 things

Have a great respect for her. 

Push for changes and hold them accountable.

By respect, I mean on a level of other girls. Would I say that to x? And it’s not only my wife, but my kids. I have observed that I could do a lot better, I can treat them a lot better. I will change in this regard. Would I say that to?

Pushing for changes is my leadership side. I will try to help them. I will try to help them get better. But when we decide on something, I want it done. I want them to try hard to get done. By pushing, by failing is how you learn. I feel this is my responsibility. This is my responsibility to contribute.

The way I’m teaching my son has to change. I can’t raise my voice on him. It does no good to him nor me. Not to mention my wife. I will respect him from now on. I will try to teach him as if I was teaching other kids. Crazy that I have more respect for other kids. It’s high expectations and low tolerance I’m dealing with. But I will change that.

About GTD at work. I feel we are missing on the goal this sprint. I am applying pressure. I feel we can do better. Not delivering value is something I will never sign up for.

It’s Jan 14th and it’s really the 1st day that I am down here. Crazy, my sickness at the beginning of the vacation is what threw me off. 

I feel I am back learning. I am learning about Java8, about programming principles, about leadership. I am back on track where I can do some of that on a daily basis. That is very valuable. I will continue doing that.

I should also be on track to collect a pomo at home. That should help.

I will also try to find some time to read on a weekend, perhaps practice a little bit.

It’s all about getting back to my roots. It’s about a passion for learning. It’s about spreading that passion, living by example.

Along the same lines, I will introduce “What have you learned yesterday?” at the end of each scrum. That should make our meetings more interesting. And it should keep our learning going, allowing for people to step it up. It is something close to my heart.

I am also considering starting a COP – Programming that will focus on best practices, new technologies.

I am who I am. I will not change just to please somebody. I may make changes to cooperate better, but I’m not willing to be somebody else. Why not? Because that would not be me. It’s important for me to be myself, to learn how I work and what makes me tick.

I am an introvert. I gain energy from being with myself. I like hanging out with others, but sometimes it wears on me. I don’t have any social organizing skills. 0. I could probably push myself to do better in that area. 

Goals

1. I know docker by the end of jan
   a. I setup env
   b. I practice and learn every day
   c. I try to spin up cassandra
2. I learn agressively by the end of jan
   a. I read an article every day

I am putting some new rules in place for this and next month. (Hmm. those should be my goals. Yes.)

No TV on a weekday before 8pm. Yes, after work and before kids get ready for bed. So it could be 8 or 8:30 or even 9. That can change, but the goal for me is to play with them, read to them, etc. When they are ready for bed that’s when I can watch some politics.

Also, I have 2 choices or 2 ideas for what to do right after I wake up. Limit it to 5 minutes (no sit down) or walk straight down. I prefer the latter, but I can accept the former.

Goals

1.  I am using my time efficiently by end of jan.
   a. I wake up early and try to use the time efficiently
   b. I skip tv before 8
2. I am comfortable using docker by end of jan
   a. I re-read the book
   b. I practice daily

A good question to ask during 1:1 is

What is the best day in the past 3 months or so?

What is the worst day in the past 3 months?

That should tell me a bit more what motivates him. 

But I also like this question

What are you trying to improve nowadays, what’s your focus?

I asked Tom yesterday and it sounded right. I want to ask more. 

Meeting with those guys 1-1 is a very good way for me to learn about them, to give them so addtl feedback, to react if need to. It also allows me to get some feedback.

Breaks are never easy for me. I gain weight. My sleep pattern changes a bit. Things are different. Do they have to be?

Oh, one more thing, a long break with no plans almost never works. 

About weight. I really have to figure this one out. It’s not only breaks but it’s the weekend as well. Perhaps no junk food on weekend and breaks? Sounds like a plan to me. No junk and no sweets. I think that should help. Not that I eat a lot of sweets but control is not going to hurt. And while we are on control, control the volume knob.

About being lazy. Yes, that’s a problem as well. I should plan ahead. Plan ahead daily activities or come up with a list of items to complete in the next few days. It’s always good to spend a few hours outside the house. I did some of it, but I could have done more.

About sleep pattern. Perhaps I’m exaggerating here. My motivation has gone down a bit. So waking up even at 6 is a bit hard. But it’s a good idea to wake up an hour later. The pattern is not completely broken when I do that. 

So I have a few action items for the next break. Christmas is the first one coming. 

I was a little hard on Fabian yesterday. I need to find a better way of controlling myself. I need to treat him with respect. Yes, with respect. He is my son, and whether he knows something or he does not, I have to teach him the tips and tricks on how to solve things, how to approach things. 

He does not always approach the problems the correct way. Yes, that’s something I can teach him. Not by screaming, but by showing.

He sometimes tries to think in his head for the complicated problems. Yes, that’s something I can teach him that it’s not the right approach. Try to break the problem into manageable chunks. Then you can solve it easier.

He sometimes does not want to put the effort. Yes, that’s something I can teach him. Solving problems that you don’t know how to solve is how you grow, how you stretch your mind. Not easy, right? But that’s how you learn and grown.

Once again, it’s about having patience, about explaining things, about making sure that he understands.

I am learning. I am learning that my cash giveaways will not work for me and for my wife. It’s not going to happen. I always have to remind her. Why not give her control?

I am skeptical. But I also know that’s the way to go. I will go ahead and order a card for her. I am hoping this will not be a mistake. But it will also show me whether she cares. Whether she can manage money. If she can’t, then the only thing I can do is to take out all the money. Figure out a way to pay bills elsewhere. Then every pay check, just take it all out. That model can work as well. But that would mean I have to walk around with money and that’s not too good.

Over the weekend, I’ve learned that I need to adjust that area .I will.